I have become convinced that there is a point after every failed relationship when the mind of a person stop functioning at full capacity. At this point, the only thing you can remember about the relationship is the good stuff, the happy times, the perfection of your ex.
The problem is, your mind fails to remind you of why the relationship ended to begin with. I’ve been through this recently with my thoughts on Ali. I could not remember anything about our relationship that would have suggested she wasn’t absolutely perfect in every regard. Oh, I could “remember” them, of course, but I never thought about it.
I allowed my mind to dictate my memories or her. I even foolishly wrote a very personal e-mail to her detailing how perfect she was and how in love with her I still was. It was only after that e-mail that I realized I’d blinded myself to the truth. I neglected to recall her numerous lies, her blatent deception, and her complete lack of regard for my own feelings. In short, I failed to recognize why our relationship was doomed in the first place.
It is an angering revelation for me since I did send such a personal e-mail. An e-mail that, looking back on it now, is based almost completely on a history that Ali and I never had. A perfect one.
The mind is a complicated machine to be sure. Don’t let it confuse you to the point where remembering the happy times causes you to forget your reasons for moving on.
Ali and I failed for very good reason… a justified lack of trust. “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” they say. The way our relationship ended has done nothing but solidify that view… As difficult as it is to convince my heart at this time, I know without a doubt that I am much better off without her and I deserve much better. And I will have much better, praise God!
Even the “perfect” memories of Ali cannot compare to the perfect mate that Jesus has in store for me; a woman that will truly be a woman of virtue and not just good at pretending to be! Man, how great it is to be an adopted child of God!
